I performed with Jaana & Jaap I don’t have anything to wear on Friday in Helsinki. Since then, I’ve been somehow really tired. I don’t know why I’m never able to estimate the amount of work and exhaustion caused by traveling, warming up a performance and working it out in another language, staying in some B&B or cheap hotel and in the end, performing? Yesterday I was determined to go to the gym after grocery shopping. But while I was in the supermarket trying to get my head together about what to buy and cook, I realised I was so tired that it didn’t make sense to force myself to exercise. And this really wasn’t about feeling lazy, just for once understanding that I actually was exhausted. But today I hit the gym, enjoyed my work out and although I feel good, I’m nowhere near recovered.
The performance went well although it was the first time we performed it in English and that caused some mixed feelings. But we got some very positive feedback so I guess we managed ok in the end. It would be just really important to perform the work more in English and of course, just to perform it more in general. We actually will perform in about a week again here in Kuopio, so that’s really good. As the work somehow deals with the pressures of looking good and success as well as the ridiculousness of it all, and as we constantly talk in it about good fats, body balance, styling, the appearance, trying to find something comfortable to wear etc., the work can easily pull you to the world of never feeling satisfied about yourself and the mundane reality of living with the imperfect aging body…
Next week seems really busy, lots of work to do and most of it is exciting. I’m planning to hold an audition for my new performance in the end of May or early June. At the moment I’m waiting to hear about one more grant as the budget of the work of course determines the amount of performers, length of rehearsals etc. in the end. So let’s see what happens with that.
Although my days in Helsinki were extremely busy, I ate with Jaana everyday in Silvoplee. It was just amazing to eat really good reasonably priced vegeterian food everyday. And what a variety of beautiful dishes they have! That, amongst others, is something I miss in Kuopio. But I made today a delicious salad with tofu, avocado and sesame seeds.

Johanna