Pekka came home with chanterelles and fish. Won’t be hungry tomorrow.
Johanna
Do you know what it feels like to be able to wash clothes after not being able to do it when you need to for two and half months? It’s bliss. And this is not a survival story from a trip to the jungle, this is in the middle of the daily life, in a family of four.
The first load is drying, next one rolling in the machine. I’ve always enjoyed the rhythm of a washing machine. It’s a sound often connected to my yoga practice. It makes me feel safe and at home. It’s nice, in the nicest meaning.
Johanna
Tiring week behind me. Finished the first rehearsal period with mixed feelings; in many ways I’m very happy with the work we did but at the same time today I felt a kind of hesitation in the rehearsal which made me feel strange. Well, it’s all familiar but still left me thinking about it.
I was setting up my office and went through some papers in my archive. I found a piece of paper with John Cage’s rules and hints and Rule8 really suits my mood:
“Do not try to create and analyze at the same time. They are different processes.â€
When I got home I felt really tired. Our plumber was working with Pekka setting up the washing machine and for a moment I felt really happy that things are actually moving on. They didn’t finish the job as some parts were missing (as usual) but I have hope that tomorrow I’ll be able to wash clothes and sheets. A kind of handy possibility in a family of two children…
The new website is up now, thanks to Mladen! At the moment the site is available only in English but we are working on the Finnish version as well. Some information of my works is not up yet but I’m working on it. But if you have any questions in the mean time, don’t hesitate to ask me or Maija, my producer.
And let me know what you think about it!
Johanna
Shoes by Vagabond, Gunilla Pontén skirt, H&M top, underwear by Marks&Spencer.
Me Naiset with my yoga teacher’s ex interviewed. Some sleep in between.
Make up in the toilet of the InterCity train.
Went straight to the press conference.
Checked out some Larsen + Cole & Son wallpaper and Minna Parikka and Vivienne Westwood shoes.
Bought a pair of El Naturalista shoes. Love them.
Spotted Michael Monroe and Lilli Earl.
The first pink flower on our backyard.
My daughter noticed this one the other morning and dashed to see what it was like! Just a beauty, a miracle in the midst of the chaos.
…ordered some mineral make-up that arrived today…
kind of therapeutic in the middle of all the difficulties, questions, tasks, pain, work…
Had a conversation about the regional dance centre here and one person who thinks maybe a bit too highly of herself in relation to the dance centre. Who censors conversation, looks at art and dance with a quite narrow mind, who so strongly believes in her own view that cannot accept, acknowledge, respect, value or even listen to other views. Who thinks she’s always right. Who thinks she knows everything. I don’t really care about other people’s castles in the air but when they’re built in the costs of a larger community who this person thinks she has a right speak for without understanding, acknowledging, accepting or valuing the rest of the community, the differing opinions, then I just think it’s ignorant and quite stupid.
Johanna
It’s funny to observe one’s behaviour and thoughts when something is restricted. At the moment I’m not allowed to sit and it’s been interesting to realize when, how and in which situations my mind wants me to sit and how this simple restriction actually changes my patterns of thought and action. And how much it has eased my back pain! Well, of course I’ve also been resting as ordered by my doctor and taking some medicines but still. I actually find it much better to work by my laptop standing rather than sitting in a bad posture by the desk. The kitchen worktop is on a perfect height for me (90cm) when standing. And as my ‘office’ is not yet finished anyway, this suits me very well.
I got a pile of magazines from Maija yesterday and it’s been such a luxury to lie in bed and read. I love magazines. I have to be really careful not become such a magazine junkie again as this addiction is showing it’s nature again… Yes, I still order a couple (only a few!) design magazines but last spring I quit ordering most of them. I’m very proud of this and in general I prefer recycling them so anyone who wants to recycle their magazines with me is most welcome! I talked on the phone with my son the other day and I told him I was lying in bed recovering from my back injury. He then said: “Let me guess, you have a pile of magazines next to the bed!â€
In the process of facing the truth of our financial situation, I made an Excel of all our living costs from January 2007 onwards. In this bigger picture, my magazine addiction is not that worrying, really. And the daily newspaper Helsingin Sanomat is included in the Excel! But the statistics might look a little better as I quit most of the magazine orders last spring but still, it never was that bad. It’s just my partner who doesn’t have this addiction and who therefore cannot understand the bliss of it either.
Now that we’ve moved out of the centre, I have to face the costs of travelling to work and school. Well, of course this was known beforehand but still, it’s over all quite expensive here in Kuopio. As far as I know, Kuopion Liikenne, which runs the busses of the city, is the most expensive in the whole country. Public transport is definitely not cheap here but more so I hate that on our street most families have more than two cars. For me it’s either my bike or the bus.
The last couple of days have been really hot and since we still don’t have curtains, it’s been unbearably hot in the house, upstairs especially. Impossible to do any hard work in the house! Fortunately, we now have a shower, which helps the life in general, a lot. But there’s a lot of work remaining undone.
I have been working on my next productions a lot and worrying about the future of the ANTI-Festival. Some serious actions need to be done.
Johanna
My back was finally scanned this week and it turned out that my back pain is actually caused by something other than my imagination. But I have to deal with it now and that means some changes in the schedules. But it’s going to be okay.
I’ve called my dancers and notified them about the new schedules. I think we’ll be able to do the piece very well with the delayed schedule. This doesn’t effect my solo work at all but I have a few things to work out like the Stavanger-project with Anne-Marte.
The evenings are turning colder and darker; although it was very warm during the day, today I wondered where did I pack the candles. I think I know.
Johanna
It’s been a bloody hot day and in the afternoon I just had to lie down because I was feeling so dizzy and wobbly. I was treating the wooden panel of our house with the iron sulphite in the back yard which the sun warms up all day. I was doing the same work in April or May or something but only maybe a third of the house has been panelled as we have had to concentrate to the work inside the house. Well, the treated panel finished yesterday, so I just had to get to it although my back is not in the best shape to do that kind of work. Actually, I’m surprised how much I’ve been able to do.
In the morning I had a Skype session with Anne-Marte about the project in Stavanger and I got very excited about it again. I’ll spend 10 days over there in August and I have to do quite a lot of preparations for the meeting/working session.
Today we got a pile of loose soil to our back yard. Pekka has been working in the garden enthusiastically every now and then and it seems to be finding its shape slowly. Our daughter is very into it as well. She actually helps and does a lot of work at the house, wants to participate in everything we do. It’s great.
Pekka’s sister has brought some plants and flowers to the garden so I guess we’ll get to plant them soon.
Our plumber put the shower thermostats to the bathroom today and I keep my fingers crossed that I’ll be able to take a shower at home tomorrow! How can there be so much work in a small bathroom? It was impossible to imagine beforehand.
I got an email today about a problem with one work of the next ANTI Festival. During all my so called summer holiday there probably hasn’t been a day without an email, phone call or a Skype conference concerning some issue or problem related to the festival. Today I just felt that I was too tired to deal with it. So I didn’t reply to the email or make any phone calls which I should have done.
But something beautiful happened today, as my daughter learned how to bike without the extra wheels. She could have learned that much earlier, I’m sure, but we just haven’t had the time to teach her and to hang out to do something like that. So she learned it really quickly and easily and was so excited about it. How lovely.
I worked out the rehearsal schedule for the group piece and emailed the performers yesterday, but they haven’t yet replied if the schedule fits them at all. I hope so as my autumn feels so packed and tight already now. I’m almost scared about it all.
Pekka and his brother are still working outside.
Although the day has been tiring and hot, there has been great moments.
Johanna
 …in Finnish:
Freelancerin kesäloma
Kevään viimeisten esitysten jälkeen kesäkuun lopussa ajattelin, että nyt vihdoin pääsen työasioista irti ja lomalle. Tuleva ’loma’ ei silti ollut ihan rentouttavimmasta päästä, sillä vuoden kestänyt rakennusprojekti oli huipentumassa muuttoon, mutta työ rakennuksella ei millään näyttänyt vähenevän. Kaikki mahdollinen ’loma’ kului siis rakennustyömaalla esimerkiksi kattoa vaneroidessa ja portaita kasatessa. Yöt istuin netin ääressä vessanpönttöjä ynnä muita hankintoja vertaillen. Samaan aikaan mieltä painoi, kun en saanut mistään raosta irrotettua aikaa lupautumaani blogikeskusteluun, josta myöhemmin syksyllä julkaistaan artikkeli. Muuton jälkeen makasin selkä tuhannen sohjona, lähes liikuntakyvyttömänä aivastustakin peläten, kunnes menin lääkärin ja sain semmoiset kipulääkkeet, että pystyin istumaan ja osallistumaan blogikeskusteluun. Sitten alkoikin lappaa talossamme kaikenlaista ohikulkijaa, jotka enemmän ja vähemmän kauhistelivat työmaan keskeneräisyyttä. Hyötyäkin heistä toki oli; heidän avullaan on mm. saatu kannettua yläkertaan kylmiö, kivitasot ja takkasydän. Aikataulujen vuoksi olin joutunut sopimaan seuraavan projektini kuvauspäivät muuttoa seuraavalle viikolle, keskelle ’kesälomaani’, ja kipulääkkeiden voimalla saapastelin korkokengissä pitkin lähimetsiä uutta teosta kuvaten. Kun kuvaustiimi pakkasi kamansa, pihaan kurvasi mieheni sisko perheineen. He lohduttivat, että heidän tuttavat ovat asuneet talossaan vuoden ilman muuttotarkastusta. He katsoivat siis viisaammaksi jatkaa matkaansa kuin jäädä työmaallemme majailemaan.
Jos en ole pystynyt osallistumaan jonkun työn tekemiseen, niin olen kestinnyt työläisiä ja muita vieraita. Välillä olen tuskaillut kahden kirjoittamattoman kolumnin kanssa, palaveerannut tuottajani kanssa, oikolukenut seuraavan ANTI-festivaalin käsiohjelmaa ja pitänyt Skype-konferensseja festivaaliin liittyen. Eilen juttelin puhelimessa äitini kanssa, joka kysyi: â€Niin, onko sulla nyt loma?†Ja minä vastasin: â€Joo, on. Tavallaan.â€
Kesäkuussa tapasin erästä kulttuurialan konsulttia organisoidakseni työasioitani kenties hieman järkevämmin. Ensimmäinen asia, mitä hän korosti, oli etukäteen päättää minkä ajan vuodesta pystyy käyttämään aktiivisesti projektien toteuttamiseen ja minkä jättää koskemattomaksi, jotta luovaa taiteellista työtä jaksaa tehdä muullakin kuin nuoruuden innolla. Näyttää, ettei yksi konsultaatio riitä minulle.
Johanna Tuukkanen
It’s been more than busy and chaotic since we moved. There’s still a lot of work to do in the house and every moment one can or has energy (or one is not in too severe back pain) is used in working in some part of the house. I had a video shoot with Maija last week, we’ve had visitors checking out the house who have been more or less terrified how unfinished it all is but we have also had great nights with friends sitting in the living room enjoying lovely dinners and sipping wine until the early hours. And many by passers and visitors have also helped us with some work; with the help of Hannu we managed to carry the fridge and one of the stone work tops upstairs, Jukka helped with the veneering of one wall in the living room and with Juha we got the large stone work top into its place and carried the heart of our fire place upstairs. And Lea brought all kinds of plants from her garden for us to plant into ours. So thank you all very much!
I’ve also promised to write a few columns and participate in one blog discussion which will be published later in the autumn in one magazine. It’s been difficult to find time to write in piece with all the work in the house as well as the visitors but last night was great as Pekka went fishing with Hannu (what a great dinner we ate with fish and mushrooms today!), Justiina was outside playing with other kids and Zulani left to visit his grandparents and I managed to write one of the columns in peace. It’s a bit tricky to promise to write columns and participate in all kinds of discussion and have production meetings and video shoots on your so called ‘freelancer’s summer holiday’. A consultant I met with in June, said that I should very precisely define each year when I work and when I absolutely don’t do any performances, work on any projects but totally take time off. I guess I need more than one session with him to sort out my schedules! Hopefully my producer will be able to help me with that as well in the near future.
Hope you are all well and rested,
Johanna
ps. It’s Johanna’s name day in Finland today!