Another day of work at the Blue House. Treating the panels was kind of meditative today; was focusing on my breath and the movement, tried not to strain my back too much. There was a beautiful, peaceful and silent moment when the children were inside drawing and playing and I was working on the back yard with Pekka. There wasn’t anything else, no visions of the future, no memories from the past, just us working in silence together. The weather forecast promised rain showers for today but it didn’t rain in the end. A few snowflakes were falling from the sky every now and then but they didn’t bother us.

I just put a dinner into the oven. I realised that it’s three days in a row that I’ve used crushed tomatoes in the dinner. This is not the first time I pay attention to this but every now and then I get really irritated by this. As you probably know, tomatoes are ‘plants of darkness’ and one should not eat any of them. According to macrobiotics anyway. I’m not macrobiotic but I used to be into all those things much more than I’m now. So the day before yesterday, my son hoped for a pasta with shrimps in tomato sauce and as he had been ill, I fulfilled his wish. Yesterday I made a kind of soy crush for the kids to go with rice. Today I’m doing this eggplant, potato (another ‘plants of darkness’!), zucchini and goat cheese dish baked in the oven, with a little bit of tomato sauce in between the vegies. Well, there might be worst things in life, I don’t know.

I thought about my new works today a lot. Maybe I do the performances in a gallery, so that the video/photographic material from the solo work could be shown as an installation and the group piece still could be performed in the same space. I could maybe get the space for a week or so. The number or audiences that can fit into the space is very limited, which I don’t mind, but I will need to think about that a little more.

Maybe it all starts to fall into its place.

I’m back to listening music, I realize. Fun, inspiring.

Johanna