Last weeks have been unusually emotional and tough. In the end of May and beginning of June I worked long days in the ANTI office with Kaisa and Gregg to renew and complete the festival printed brochure and website. Then on Monday the 7th of June, my partner called me and said that my father had tried to reach me many times during the day. I had forgotten to turn the phone forwarding on from my home number to my office phone and my father didn’t have my work number. I was still in the office at about 9pm when I called my dad who told me that I no longer had a sister. My little sister had died at the age of 31. Of course, everything turned upside down, I had to take some time off and we missed the outlined schedule with the brochure. I was forced to spend time with my family, my children, my mom and dad to deal with this unexpected tragedy that left all of us very very sad and full of unanswered questions.
My sister was buried in Hailuoto on the 17th of June in a small, intimate, simple ceremony. Although it was a really hard day, full of sorrow and tears, it also felt like a kind of completion and a really important ritual.

The next morning we drove back to Kuopio and I went straight into rehearsals and prepared for my performances on Sunday and Monday. I think I performed pretty amazing shows of ACTS OF CLOTHING and Physical Artistic deeds 1; Milk. Of course, I could have canceled them but I felt it was important for me to redirect my energy and put some of the very personal emotions on stage. Both of the performances were very packed, there was more audience that we were allowed to take in and we couldn’t fit everyone in to the Milk performance. I got so much positive feedback of the shows and people praised ACTS OF CLOTHING so much that I was all humbled. In the show I talked about my sister’s funeral and many people were very moved and touched about that. Although it felt like a really hard job to pull the performances together, I’m glad I did.
We also managed to get the brochure to the print and we’ll launch the ANTI 2010 programme and website on Monday the 5th of July! Exciting.
Last week I counted my work hours of the spring and realized that I’ve worked overtime more than 235 hours! No wonder I’ve been tired. So I’m desperately waiting for my summer holiday. My family needs my attention, our home and our garden needs attention but I also need to get my mind off from work. I’m trying to organize a long weekend or a small holiday with my children and with my mom somewhere…maybe in Greece, maybe Iceland… we’ll see. But I’m also really really looking forward to performing ACTS OF CLOTHING at the Full Moon Dance Festival in the end of July and in the Ateneum theatre in Helsinki in August.

Now, I wish you all very well.

Johanna